Clandestine Dainty

-before finishing this sentence, sense my sarcasm please. greatly appreciated. -

oh great, now i am officially selected for the F1 Race Ambassador.
when signing up the form, i had the mindset that the chances of getting chosen is slim anyways, so why not give it a try.
and now! how fortunate can i get to get selected out of a thousand?
im indeed lucky! lady luck is with me. -rollingofeyes-

now im afraid to go for this major event held in Singapore.
partly because no one is there to go with me to attend the trainings and such.
i need confidence so badly all of a sudden.
the usual full of confidence me, suddenly went missing, prolly hiding from this event too.
now my confidence level dropped all the way down to basement one.
i can feel that, that part of me is empty.
now i dread and regretted signing up. -sigh-

kept scrolling the selected names file, hoping to find at least one familiar name. repeating and repeating the same steps again.
but, reality clearly states NO.
i wish to back out badly now.
what should i do? i need an answer. -cries-
gosh, this is bad, real bad.
am feeling real lousy right now.
guess i wont be feeling good till i get a definite answer.



is this a test given to me by whoever up there? why are you making things difficult for me? i know this is part and parcel of life, but this decision is just too major. im really going bonkas. i need help badly. i need someone to talk to me and tell me what decision should i make. i need my confidence back. of all people, why have me chosen out of so many candidates? decisions and decisions. SSSIGHH!

all in all, im in a dilemma right now, right here, right on this spot.
my lifespan seemed to have shorten by 20 years just by making decisions.
having no confidence and courage to go for this event, but yet, such chances are RARE to come by.
so now tell me, what on earth am i suppose to do?

before i forget. on 02/08

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY
TO
SOPHIA CHUA aka CHEESE
miss you girl :)
meet up soon, please.