Harder than it seems

Tonight is probably one of the nights that my heart weighs a million ton than it should be.

Enlistment is probably one of the most sensitive word to me right now.

I've seen it coming, prepared for it, thought i was strong enough to face it, i was wrong... so wrong. 

I cant face it, my courage seemed to have disappeared and i cant find it back to fight along side with me.

I cant help but to break down terribly.

I need time, i need some alone time to think, i definitely need time to adapt and adjust.

I really admire those strong ladies out there, waiting patiently and supporting their boyfriends who are in army. someday hopefully i will be able to be like them, someday...

Im sleeping with a heavy heart, its just not my night tonight.