Cornerstone

This would be one of the saddest post ever in this blog.

Pardon the English because it hurts badly to be jotting this down. But this serves as a piece of memory that is very much needed and important even when others don't comprehend.

Exactly a year ago, you fell ill.

Your heart began to slowly fail you. But you continued on with life.

Although the doctor had already informed us that you'll not have much time left, we believed that you will still be able to live for a long time.

Your actions doesn't even seemed like you're ill. You continued to play and fight with us to get back your toys that we took away, you still run and jump around actively. These are not signs that a sick doggy will display. But we all know that you're quietly fighting with the illness by yourself.

Along the way throughout the months, we've visited the doctor many times.

They kept reminding us that some of your organs are beginning to fail and be prepared for the worst. Your medications increased, your food intake became lesser and your weight started to drop. I've always sayang you and I know you've become even thinner than before.

We still hoped for the best for you, and tried to give you the best that we can.

We made even plans to go to the beach because we wanted you to have more fun and enjoy the last few months of your life. But doctor says your heart might not be able to take the excitement.

Thankfully didi has always been there with you.

The past weeks had been busy and Jie Jie didn't have much time to spend with you. Jie Jie is regretful.

You fell critically ill and had to be warded in the vet, Jie Jie still didn't had the time to go down and visit you. I had planned to visit you on Thursday after school with Gor Gor, because I know you're strong and you'll be fine.

But when I received your mummy's call yesterday to inform me of your passing, I honestly did not know how to react, simply because I've always believed that you'll be in our lives for a long time, just that now it is not the time.

I told myself, you will not be so heartless to not let me see you once more while I hurriedly made my way down to you. Then another message got through me telling me that you're still holding on. I knew there's still hope. Deep down I know you're not heartless to anyone you love. I wished I could make my way down even faster, to your side.

I saw you laying on the theater table with an oxygen tube inserted to help you breathe, breaks my heart badly. I don't know what to do. I wished I could help you, I wished I could lighten what you're suffering from, I wished magic could happen and all these are just nothing but a lie.

Aunty Marlie came to see you, and told us that you're ready to go, because you've already cleanse yourself. I cannot accept that this is true. Figoboy will always live a long life.

When all of us are with you, we told you to go. But you did not want to, even though we know you're already very tired. Your legs were stiff and you could no longer control them, but mind does not want to leave us, you kept fighting back to not close your eyes, you even tried to stand up, but you could not and fell back down. You kept crying out to us.

Our heart aches for you.

At last, we brought didi to see you before you decided to go.

I guess you were waiting to see didi one last time before you are able to go peacefully.

Dear figoboy,
JieJie is more than grateful to you that you're one of the reason why Gor Gor and I got together.

JieJie is thankful to be part of your life, even if its just a short span of 6 years.

JieJie is thankful for you, for teaching me so many valuable lessons in life that i know i would not get it else where. You've taught me to love selflessly, accepting people you love regardless and always be there for people. You've taught us many more about life.
JieJie thank you for being part of Gor Gor and family's lives when you're only a puppy of 2.5 years old and you've brought so much joy and happiness to them.

You've been through so much with us and especially Gor Gor, didi and family.

I hope that you've enjoyed being with and around us.

I'll miss you being around, waking up to your smelly mouth, you always asking me to pat and sayang you by putting your paws on me, your companion to sleep and safeguard me, your presence to support me physically when i'm studying by sitting behind and beside me.

I'll miss those fun times we shared together, going to the beach to fly kites and you barking at us telling us that it is dangerous to be in the sea water. You'll try to save me whenever Gor Gor and I pretended to fight with each other, we watch birds together from the window to we chased them downstairs. I'll miss those day you'll climb on the chair, stood there to look at the hamsters even though your legs were tired, and you'll get excited whenever I'm changing the hamster's bedding. JieJie is always trying to snatch your toy away from you, and you will try to take it back. I'm always trying to take photos of you, but sometimes you know that i'm taking hence you looked away.

I love how much you're so human-like to us because you understand what we say and how we feel. You're so obedient that you know it is a hassle to clean up after your pee and poos, you'll hold it till we go down for a walk and releases them downstairs. You know you're the big brother of didi, and you always give in to didi by letting him snatch your toys and snacks away. I love how cute you are when you needed to touch us for assurance with your paws before you can fall asleep.

You know, Figoboy, without you around, things will never be the same again.

JieJie will no longer be buying two toys, one for you and one for didi.

JieJie will no longer be taking out 2 biscuits, giving it fairly to you and didi.

JieJie will no longer be able to split your fav liangrong pau into half and feeding you and didi at the same time.

JieJie will no longer make two bowls of food for yours and didi's dinner, and at times feeding you bit by bit because you refused to eat.
Jiejie will not be able see you at the door greeting me when i come.

You'll not run to jiejie when I call your name anymore.
You'll not be sitting at the biscuit table waiting for me to give you biscuits before i leave.
You'll not be there sitting quietly around us while we have our dinner.

You'll not be releasing smelly farts and walk away secretly.

You'll not be accompanying me to sleep or when i study.

I know didi will be there for us, but it's no longer the same.

Two is always better than one.

Although JieJie have yet to let you go, I still will eventually. Because Gor Gor is telling me that I need to let you go. You've aged and it's time.

JieJie wants to thank you for letting me there till the very end of your journey.

Run forth to the meadows.

You're now in a safe and good place. You're free from all the sufferings and pains you've been fighting and been through. We are all so proud of you. Make more friends there because we know you love to interact with other dogs, cats and even birds. They are all your friends.

Play with all the different toys there, especially the squeaky ones cause that's your favourite among all.

JieJie misses you a lot and will always love you.

Do come back and visit us and play with didi often.