Never have I felt so carefree, apart from times when I'm on holiday...
As of 10th January 2017,
I've made a big decision, and that is to end my career in this company, DLS.
DLS had been through so many changes and I had witnessed them all. From being an Art school, to now both a Preschool & Art school. Not to forget, some other sisters school. It has definitely grown and expanded quite a far bit.
I wouldn't explain in details the reason why to my decision because the story is way tad too long. But people who knew, will understand that it was not an easy decision to make.
Why, if you asked?
1) First
It was my first ever job since I graduated from Poly, that was in 2012?
There are bound to be attachment issues since it has been a long almost 5 years with them. Not to say, watching it grow and changed so many locations.
It had definitely given me a head-start in working society as compared to the rest who went ahead with getting a degree. 5 years of experience looks damn frigging good on the CV (& it's the truth after going for so many interviews)!
2) Owner
The owner/director/founder of this company, is my fiance's cousin. Irony.
If you've never worked with a family/relative before, you wouldn't know, cause you wouldn't understand. My hesitations, my constant thoughts that bounces back and forth.
If i were to quit... how many I going to face them the next time?
Can i actually really quit, cause the owner is love's cousin?
How am i going to put it across?
What will become of us if I do quit? Will it be awkward? Will we be seeing each other as boss and ex-employee or just remain cool about it as purely relatives?
I don't know.
3) Studies
How long had I waited for the EC studies to embarked? I must say it had been delayed since forever only to finally started on June 2015.
It was a company sponsored studies and there is gonna be a bond, however there wasn't any.
But the guilt and conscience tend to overpower your mind.
Then i thought to myself, if i had to pay back the bond, by all means. & I would love to argue that I've spent time waiting for studies to start, and these time spent, are they not worth the bond?
4) Other options
I can't say that i'm really young, but I know I'm still able to catch up with the gap-years that others had it in their early 20s.
I don't want to be restricted and tied down by this job.
I want to explore, I want to challenge myself, I wish to see the world, I wish to try out other jobs in other companies.
5) Unhappiness/ tired / jaded / whatever you called it
I cannot accept the company's practices that goes against my beliefs. My stay, will not benefit anybody, not the company, not myself, needlessly to say the kids (who are the most innocent).
I'm constantly unhappy, upset, pissed during work, and this is changing my usual self into someone ugly. I sincerely do not wish to be an unhappy person.
& I'm absolutely sick and tired of it.
Sorry, but I'm not a superhuman.
6) Wage
For the past 5 years, I have never received any AWS or VB.
If my AWS per year is 2k, that's frigging 10k loss.
Gone.
& I let it go.
I pondered, I imagined and replayed the scene in my head umpteen times, I spoke many, to only finally plucking up my courage and making the decision on 10th Jan 2017.
It was a mistake, a terrible mistake, to bring unhappiness over to the new year.
But i told myself, it is better that I stop and make a change now than who knows 1 month, 3 months or 6 months down the road, I will still do it.
Overall,
I know that I've given and contributed my all, my best to this company over the past 5 years.
I'm grateful for all opportunities and experiences given and gained. It has equipped me with knowledge of many and skills that are fundamental.
& as of today, 9th March 2017, will be my very last day as an employee there.
Hereby taking my leave and embarking on a new journey.
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I'm so glad that it was a fucking best decision i made for myself,
& to love myself more.
Till next time,
xoxo
